The Poet and the Editor

"MY dear sir," said the editor to the man, who had called to see
about his poem, "I regret to say that owing to an unfortunate
altercation in this office the greater part of your manuscript is
illegible; a bottle of ink was upset upon it, blotting out all but
the first line - that is to say - "

"'The autumn leaves were falling, falling.'

"Unluckily, not having read the poem, I was unable to supply the
incidents that followed; otherwise we could have given them in our
own words. If the news is not stale, and has not already appeared
in the other papers, perhaps you will kindly relate what occurred,
while I make notes of it.

"'The autumn leaves were falling, falling,'

"Go on."

"What!" said the poet, "do you expect me to reproduce the entire
poem from memory?"

"Only the substance of it - just the leading facts. We will add
whatever is necessary in the way of amplification and
embellishment. It will detain you but a moment.

"'The autumn leaves were falling, falling - '

"Now, then."

There was a sound of a slow getting up and going away. The
chronicler of passing events sat through it, motionless, with
suspended pen; and when the movement was complete Poesy was
represented in that place by nothing but a warm spot on the wooden
chair.

The Taken Hand

A SUCCESSFUL Man of Business, having occasion to write to a Thief,
expressed a wish to see him and shake hands.

"No," replied the Thief, "there are some things which I will not
take - among them your hand."

"You must use a little strategy," said a Philosopher to whom the
Successful Man of Business had reported the Thief's haughty reply.
"Leave your hand out some night, and he will take it."

So one night the Successful Man of Business left his hand out of
his neighbour's pocket, and the Thief took it with avidity.

An Unspeakable Imbecile

A JUDGE said to a Convicted Assassin:

"Prisoner at the bar, have you anything to say why the death-
sentence should not be passed upon you?"

"Will what I say make any difference?" asked the Convicted
Assassin.

"I do not see how it can," the Judge answered, reflectively. "No,
it will not."

"Then," said the doomed one, "I should just like to remark that you
are the most unspeakable old imbecile in seven States and the
District of Columbia."